


They all come for feeding inside of me

by Perching_Owl



Category: Fire Emblem: If | Fire Emblem: Fates
Genre: Angst, Gen or Pre-Slash, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, Nightmares, No actual character death though, Possession, Suicide Attempt, Whump, despite everything this fic is not all dark and gloom and actually ends on a high note, forced suicide if that makes sense, though it is not an explicit happy ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-15
Updated: 2020-10-15
Packaged: 2021-03-09 04:14:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,275
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27008683
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Perching_Owl/pseuds/Perching_Owl
Summary: They won't care for you, the voice continues whispering, they won't care if you are gone, they won't even miss you. A cry is ripped from his throat as his heart is torn in two. pain exploding from his chest.He screams.Takumi suffers from a nightmare - except, it feels so real.
Relationships: Leon | Leo/Takumi
Comments: 2
Kudos: 41
Collections: Perching_Owl's Whumptober 2020 Collection





	They all come for feeding inside of me

**Author's Note:**

> Wow, fifteenth for the [whumptober 2020](https://whumptober2020.tumblr.com/)! And oh boy, this one has all the warnings. Please be aware of the tags - I did not realise it got this dark until I started writing the tags. Please, if you need a detailed trigger warnings, check out the author's note at the end. 
> 
> No 15. INTO THE UNKNOWN **Possession** | **Magical Healing** | Science Gone Wrong
> 
> Here is the [ Link](https://whumptober2020.tumblr.com/post/628055505485561856/whumptober-2020-updated) for the upcoming prompts.
> 
> Title is taken from 'My demons' by Fight the Furry.

Takumi dreams.

That in itself is not extraordinary. He has always dreamt, always remembered what he has dreamt about. But in Valla those feel more like memories, half-forgotten and painful. Like the time when he had dreamt about Ryoma taking Corrin with him on an outing instead of Takumi. It shouldn't bother him, but the sting is there, another thorn in his heart, another voice telling him he isn't good enough and never will be.

He doesn't even know why his dreams drench up such wretched memories. Perhaps it is because so much has been thrown into turmoil.

Takumi peers to his side where Prince Leo of Nohr is resting, eyes closed, book open on his chest, one hand holding it there. So much has changed - enemies have become friends while new enemies have risen. His hand brushes over his bow, feeling the carvings beneath his hand, intricate and something he can lose himself in.

He closes his eyes and settles back down, hoping sleep will claim him once again, hoping there won't be any memories making his heart pound and tears stream down his face. Those are embarrassing enough when he is alone, much less when he is sleeping in the same tent as Leo.

With a sigh, he begins to drift off.

* * *

Takumi is late.

He is running, dodging people left and right. His bow is in his left, with the other he pushes past people, soldiers from Nohr and Hoshido alike, all of them preparing for battle. Their faces are grim and determined. Their eyes follow him as he hurries past, leaving him feeling exposed.

He opens the flap to the tent Corrin, Ryoma and Xander hold their war council in. With a sinking heart, he realises he is the last of the generals to arrive. All royal family members have already taken their position with Corrin standing bent over the table, Ryoma and Xander to their side. The rest of the royal families is standing around them, their arms crossed. Takumi's heartbeat begins to pick up.

'You are late,' Ryoma's voice is cold, his expression stern.

'My apologies, I was inspecting the weapons,' Takumi mutters, glancing to both sides of the table. His siblings are staring at him, even Sakura. He expects them to continue talking, but neither of them moves, not even the Nohrian royals. All keep staring at him.

Sakura, who brushes over her staff, speaks first, 'Finally, you are here. We have been waiting.'

'So like you to not be punctual,' Hinoka mutters, rolling her eyes and turning away, more interested in her naginata.

Ryoma's eyes settle on him, gaze as cold as ice, 'Always the last one, right?'

Everyone is staring at him, their expressions cold and filled with indifference. It burrows in his bones, so deep he wants to scream, but he cannot, speechless as he stands among them.

The voices inside his head though begin to whisper. You aren't worth it, you are always the last one picked, always the weakest. He wants to shake his head, but he is rooted to the spot. He cannot move, everyone staring at him, pinning him to where he is. He wants to tell them it is not like this, he can do better, be better, be- he doesn't know, but he can improve, right?

'It's not like he is of use to us anyway,' Xander says, looking back at the map on the table, his voice callous. 'Elise could do his job.'

'Of course, it's not like it's hard,' she grins at her older brother then, barely glancing at Takumi.

He wants to ask what the job is, what he can do to prove them wrong, wants to ask, what is happening. Even if they hate him like this, they have never told him to die. What can he do to convince him otherwise?

'Oh, it's easy,' Corrin says then, putting a dagger on the desk with a sharp metallic clang, 'All you have to do is die.'

_Takumi …_

He doesn't want to die, he wants to live. But they don't want him to- his own siblings and even- even his newfound friends, even-

Useless - maybe in death you will matter, the voice in his head tells him. Takumi swallows, pressing a hand to his mouths. The voice in his head is loud, their words sounding so much like what he has thought about.

Takumi reaches out, his hand closing around the dagger.

Give in already, give into us, we are going to take good care of you, the voice tells him. It's warm, fatherly, sounding so much different than his usual doubts. The promise of relief swings with it, if he just gives in, if he just allows himself to rest, if he just wants to make the harsh words of his siblings disappear.

To make him disappear.

_Stop it! Takumi! Put it down!_

They won't care for you, the voice continues whispering, they won't care if you are gone, they won't even miss you. A scream is ripped from his throat as his heart is torn in two. pain exploding from his chest.

He screams.

_Takumi!_

* * *

Takumi comes to on the floor of the tent, convulsing, with the taste of blood in his throat and mouth, threatening to choke him. He coughs and coughs, pain radiating from his chest, from where- his eyes widen when he sees the dagger, plunged there. One of his hands is still gripping it, now slippering with blood, which spills from the blood. 

He reaches for it- 

'No, don't pull it out!' a hand catches his wrist. Takumi follows the arm up to a bared shoulder to Leo's face, filled with fear and worry. With softer voice, he repeats, 'Don't pull it out, please.' 

'What-' Takumi mutters. A cough breaks free, pain races through him, and he grunts. 

'I don't know - look, we need to wait until Elise is here. Or Sakura. Or both of them. I'm not that good of a healer, please, don't move.' 

'What-,' he starts. 'What's happened?' 

'I don't know - it was as if you were in trance, purple drifting around you. You would not listen to anything I said. And then you picked up the dagger-' Leo's voice grows hoarse then, raspy and watery, 'and you-' he breaks off. 

'I'm sorry,' Takumi says, understanding dawning, 'I didn't want to you worry about me. It's-' 

'No, this-' Leo's expression is desperate now, hands shaking, 'please, I choose to worry about. I care for you. We will fight whatever this is, this wasn't normal, you-' 

At this moment the flap to their tent is pushed aside. Elise and Sakura rush in, followed by Mozu, her cheeks wet. Sakura's eyes widen, filling with tears, but she rushes forward and falls to her knees beside him. She immediately starts healing him, warmth spreading through her body. Elise sits down beside her, her voice strong, even as her hands are shaking, 'We can take over.' 

Leo sits back then, his hands red with Takumi's blood. He breathes, once, twice. His gaze moves from his chest to Takumi's face, and then he moves up. He lifts Takumi's head, bedding it on Leo's thighs, then brushes steaks of Takumi's hair from his forehead. Speaking so softly, only Takumi can hear, Leo mutters, 'This wasn't you, Takumi.' 

And Takumi nods. He recalls the voices in his head, wondering if they are right. 

But with Leo brushing over his hair, those voices are distant. 

He realises then those weren't his. 

And this frightens him more than anything. 

'We will get through this,' Leo mutters, voice trembling. 

And for some inexplicable reason, Takumi believes him. 

**Author's Note:**

> Detailed trigger warnings: Takumi is dreaming, a voice whispering in his mind and forcing him to plunge a knife into his heart. Leo is healing him though and promising they are going to find out what happened. 
> 
> Comments, kudos and constructive criticism appreciated :) Thank you for reading!


End file.
